“Asshole Rules the Navy” is a sea song in a bawdry and very trash style, for a perfect “pirate song”: recorded by Salty Dick for his album “Uncensored Sailor Songs” (2004) it is also titled “Backside rules the Navy” in the Oscar Brand version ( 1958).
Oscar Brand from “Bawdy Sea Chanteys.” 1958: in a “British gentleman” accent for a very fun story (I, II, VI)
Iggy Pop & A Hawk and a Hacksaw from Son Of Rogues Gallery ‘Pirate Ballads, Sea Songs & Chanteys ANTI 2013 ( I, II, VI)
Pyrates! from Uncharted Lands 2014: the dutch “Pyrates!” add some more stanzas
Let us sing a bit of good old Captain Kitt,
Who sat one morning early in the head.
A bee came flying past and it stung him on the ass,
And this is what the gallant captain said.
“Asshole(1) rules the Navy,
asshole rules the sea.
If you want a bit of bum,
better get it from your chum –
You’ll get no ass from me.”
Now we’ll hear some rhymes of Yeoman Second Grimes
Who ran the hook that hoisted up the mail.
One day as he stood watch it caught him in the crotch
And he cried as he went flying o’er the rail/”It doesn’t matter..”
Let us sing at gait (2),
as cook was running late
as the second mate searched below the decks
He caught him dashing past, run him up his mast
and this is what the shipman had to say..
The skipper wore his caps, over good old fashion maps
and for the good ole seaman he did call
they started having fun, as he filled him up with…..rum
and this is what the captain had to say….
Next we’ll sing a while, of a man with bags o’ style
for his shoes were made of Aussie crocodile
as he sat there on the docks,
We showed him all our….rocks
and this is what the bos’n had to say….
And now to end my song I’ll sing of AB Long
Whose member was not like his name at all.
When asked if he would tell how
he got along so well
His answer simply was as I recall,
“It’s very simple…”
1) or Backside
2) our own way